How to even start my blog post about Season 5 Episode 12 Long Term Parking, the only event in fictional TV history to take my heart, break it in half and make me cry like crazy? When it comes to this episode, I will specifically be focusing only on the most major parts of the episode. So let's get started!
When the deceased Sopranos FBI sees surveillance at Crazy Horse in Long Term Parking catches Adriana La Cerva disposing of the murder of the deceased Gilbert Nieves by the deceased Matush, she is forced to come in. Adriana La Cera admits to what she did and we see the deceased Sopranos Chief Cubitoso do nothing but harass her and bully her, angrily abusing his position. When he could have easily protected Adriana La Cerva's safety by having The Long Branch Police Department investigate the deceased Matush, he decided to harass and bully Adriana La Cerva by telling her to either wear a wire or convince the deceased Christopher Moltisanti to join her in The Witness Protection Program. Adriana La Cerva spends 8 hours in the bathroom crying before the deceased Sopranos Agent Robyn Sanseverino knocks on the door.
As if things weren't already ugly, things were only bound to get worse. When Adriana La Cerva arrives at home, she is forced to tell the deceased Christopher Moltisanti that for two years, she has been forced into becoming an FBI informant and attempt to persuade the deceased Christopher Moltisanti to join her in The Witness Protection Program. Only thinking about himself, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti responded by brutally beating her up by violently grabbing her throat with his two hands. As you can see, Adriana La Cerva is surviving yet struggling to breathe. The deceased Christopher Moltisanti beat her up so badly to the point that Adriana La Cerva is suffering a throat wound. Yet amazingly, somehow Adriana La Cerva survives hence why I very strongly believe that she survives Long Term Parking. Because during this scene, Adriana La Cerva survives something that would have killed off almost any other Sopranos character! Then, shortly after letting go, Adriana La Cerva gets up coughing for breath as the deceased Christopher Moltisanti broke down crying. The deceased Christopher Moltisanti agrees to start a new life with Adriana La Cerva, the agreement that he broke.
Then, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti goes to fill up his Hammer H2 with gas. While filling up his Hammer H2 with gas, he watches a poor family in front of the gas station, their meager possessions strapped to the roof of a run-down car.
Showing the selfish human being that he was, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti betrays the one and only person that actually loves him by ratting her out to the deceased Tony Soprano. Thanks to this, from a payphone the deceased Tony Soprano calls Adriana La Cerva. Still suffering from a throat wound and in poor physical shape, Adriana La Cerva answers the phone. The deceased Tony Soprano plays a despicable game of manipulation by telling her that the deceased Christopher Moltisanti attempted suicide and is in the hospital and that even his deceased mother Joanne Moltisanti is worried about him. Adriana La Cerva accepts what she is told that the deceased Silvio Dante will pick her up. This transitions to what happens next when the deceased Silvio Dante is driving Adriana La Cerva. By the time the deceased Silvio Dante is crying, she knows that she will be taken to a deserted location for a murder attempt. But it isn't what the deceased Silvio Dante is planning on doing that hurts Adriana La Cerva the most: No the reason she is crying is because the deceased Christopher Moltisanti, who she loves the most and cares about more than anything in the world chose loyalty to his deceased mob crew over Adriana La Cerva who I proclaim as the greatest. As the deceased Silvio Dante is driving on Interstate 80, he drives her to an area of deserted woodland, turns off the road onto a track, and then stops. Adriana La Cerva unsuccessfully makes a last ditch escape attempt, but the deceased Silvio Dante grabs her violently, calls her the dirty c word and then dropped her onto the ground. Broken with zero adrenaline and having zero self worth, Adriana La Cerva is alive crawling away in the woods
After we see Adriana La Cerva crawling away in the woods alive, we see the deceased Christopher Moltisanti acting like a crybaby just because thanks to his decision, he doesn't have his possession anymore. Then, the deceased Tony Soprano enters the scene. Seeing Adriana La Cerva as one of the sexiest women alive in the world and the fun he had with Adriana La Cerva in Irregular Around The Margins, he feels similarly. Combined with seeing the deceased Christopher Moltisanti high on heroin, he takes the deceased Christopher Moltisanti and beats him up. Both of them have zero sympathy from me.
We last see the deceased Tony Soprano in this episode in a different woodland area where he is with the deceased Carmela Soprano purchasing an area to build a spec house for her. This is the coldest ending of any fictional episode that I have ever seen: While Adriana La Cerva is crawling away in the woods alive, the deceased Tony Soprano, the deceased Silvio Dante and the deceased Christopher Moltisanti are scot free not receiving the consequences that they should have received. Even the deceased Carmela Soprano was luckier than Adriana La Cerva. This cold ending ends with the heartaching song Wrapped In My Memory by the late Shawn Smith, who sadly passed away in 2020 aged 53 years old from COVID-19. This song is placed in the only Sopranos episode it deserves to be placed in: Dedicated to the greatest character in the world and the sole Sopranos survivor after the end of The Sopranos when the screen goes to black, Adriana La Cerva!!!!!!!!!
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