Long Term Parking

How to even start my blog post about Season 5 Episode 12 Long Term Parking, the only event in fictional TV history to take my heart, break it in half and make me cry like crazy? When it comes to this episode, I will specifically be focusing only on the most major parts of the episode. So let's get started!

During the first key part of Long Term Parking, the deceased Tony Soprano and the deceased Christopher Moltisanti meet in a restroom. Because of the deceased Christopher Moltisanti screwing up a cigarette smuggling operation, the deceased Tony Soprano is deciding to punish him by having the late Paulie Walnuts Gualtieri lead those operations from now on. Back home, while Adriana La Cerva is crying having been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti completely ignored her and spent all of his time violently screaming about the way he perceives he is treated by the deceased Tony Soprano and what he perceives as favoritism towards the deceased Tony Blundetto.

When the deceased Sopranos FBI sees surveillance at Crazy Horse in Long Term Parking catches Adriana La Cerva disposing of the murder of the deceased Gilbert Nieves by the deceased Matush, she is forced to come in. Adriana La Cera admits to what she did and we see the deceased Sopranos Chief Cubitoso do nothing but harass her and bully her, angrily abusing his position. When he could have easily protected Adriana La Cerva's safety by having The Long Branch Police Department investigate the deceased Matush, he decided to harass and bully Adriana La Cerva by telling her to either wear a wire or convince the deceased Christopher Moltisanti to join her in The Witness Protection Program. Adriana La Cerva spends 8 hours in the bathroom crying before the deceased Sopranos Agent Robyn Sanseverino knocks on the door.

As if things weren't already ugly, things were only bound to get worse. When Adriana La Cerva arrives at home, she is forced to tell the deceased Christopher Moltisanti that for two years, she has been forced into becoming an FBI informant and attempt to persuade the deceased Christopher Moltisanti to join her in The Witness Protection Program. Only thinking about himself, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti responded by brutally beating her up by violently grabbing her throat with his two hands. As you can see, Adriana La Cerva is surviving yet struggling to breathe. The deceased Christopher Moltisanti beat her up so badly to the point that Adriana La Cerva is suffering a throat wound. Yet amazingly, somehow Adriana La Cerva survives hence why I very strongly believe that she survives Long Term Parking. Because during this scene, Adriana La Cerva survives something that would have killed off almost any other Sopranos character! Then, shortly after letting go, Adriana La Cerva gets up coughing for breath as the deceased Christopher Moltisanti broke down crying. The deceased Christopher Moltisanti agrees to start a new life with Adriana La Cerva, the agreement that he broke.

Then, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti goes to fill up his Hammer H2 with gas. While filling up his Hammer H2 with gas, he watches a poor family in front of the gas station, their meager possessions strapped to the roof of a run-down car.

Showing the selfish human being that he was, the deceased Christopher Moltisanti betrays the one and only person that actually loves him by ratting her out to the deceased Tony Soprano. Thanks to this, from a payphone the deceased Tony Soprano calls Adriana La Cerva. Still suffering from a throat wound and in poor physical shape, Adriana La Cerva answers the phone. The deceased Tony Soprano plays a despicable game of manipulation by telling her that the deceased Christopher Moltisanti attempted suicide and is in the hospital and that even his deceased mother Joanne Moltisanti is worried about him. Adriana La Cerva accepts what she is told that the deceased Silvio Dante will pick her up. This transitions to what happens next when the deceased Silvio Dante is driving Adriana La Cerva. By the time the deceased Silvio Dante is crying, she knows that she will be taken to a deserted location for a murder attempt. But it isn't what the deceased Silvio Dante is planning on doing that hurts Adriana La Cerva the most: No the reason she is crying is because the deceased Christopher Moltisanti, who she loves the most and cares about more than anything in the world chose loyalty to his deceased mob crew over Adriana La Cerva who I proclaim as the greatest. As the deceased Silvio Dante is driving on Interstate 80, he drives her to an area of deserted woodland, turns off the road onto a track, and then stops. Adriana La Cerva unsuccessfully makes a last ditch escape attempt, but the deceased Silvio Dante grabs her violently, calls her the dirty c word and then dropped her onto the ground. Broken with zero adrenaline and having zero self worth, Adriana La Cerva is alive crawling away in the woods

After we see Adriana La Cerva crawling away in the woods alive, we see the deceased Christopher Moltisanti acting like a crybaby just because thanks to his decision, he doesn't have his possession anymore. Then, the deceased Tony Soprano enters the scene. Seeing Adriana La Cerva as one of the sexiest women alive in the world and the fun he had with Adriana La Cerva in Irregular Around The Margins, he feels similarly. Combined with seeing the deceased Christopher Moltisanti high on heroin, he takes the deceased Christopher Moltisanti and beats him up. Both of them have zero sympathy from me.

We last see the deceased Tony Soprano in this episode in a different woodland area where he is with the deceased Carmela Soprano purchasing an area to build a spec house for her. This is the coldest ending of any fictional episode that I have ever seen: While Adriana La Cerva is crawling away in the woods alive, the deceased Tony Soprano, the deceased Silvio Dante and the deceased Christopher Moltisanti are scot free not receiving the consequences that they should have received. Even the deceased Carmela Soprano was luckier than Adriana La Cerva. This cold ending ends with the heartaching song Wrapped In My Memory by the late Shawn Smith, who sadly passed away in 2020 aged 53 years old from COVID-19. This song is placed in the only Sopranos episode it deserves to be placed in: Dedicated to the greatest character in the world and the sole Sopranos survivor after the end of The Sopranos when the screen goes to black, Adriana La Cerva!!!!!!!!!

Paulie Walnuts

Where to begin about Paulie Walnuts? While several members of the DiMeo crime family had funny scenes, none of them had as many funny scenes as Paulie Walnuts. Not only that, but if you ask me his scenes were the funniest. Starting from Season 1, Paulie's comical scenes are gems. From when he relentlessly went after the deceased Salvatore Bonpensiero to find out if he was wearing a wire to The Sopranos series finale, Paulie had some of the funniest lines. What is my favorite Paulie Walnuts Sopranos episode? Too many favorite Paulie Walnuts Sopranos episodes! 

My favorite Paulie Walnuts episode of Season 2 is the episode From Where To Eternity where he is compulsively worried about his death. The reason he is compulsively worried about his death is because he knows that he will go to hell when he dies, but the way he reacts is the stuff of legends. Because of how paranoid he is to the point of screaming hysterically at 3:00 AM, his girlfriend recommends him to go to a psychic in Nyack, New York. But this only backfires as the psychic communicates with Paulie's murder victims. Suffering an increasingly massive anxiety attack because of going to hell when he dies, Paulie angrily grabs a chair and throws it! For me, I had the blast of my life the first time I watched this scene!

Why don't we get started on Paulie Walnuts VS Christopher Moltisanti in Season 3, shall we? Because those scenes are the stuff of legends! When the late Tony Soprano makes Christopher Moltisanti a made man, Paulie makes sure to let Christopher know that he will not be getting any special treatment from him whatsoever just because he was the nephew of the boss Tony Soprano. In fact, Paulie makes this so well known that he makes Christopher hate being a made man. When Paulie gives Christopher orders, he lets Christopher know that the orders have to be followed exactly the way Paulie ordered them or there will be consequences. Which is exactly what happens when it comes to Paulie ordering a specific exact amount of money from Christopher to pay him as captain. Which ultimately ends with Christopher finally getting it right!

The ongoing craziness between Paulie Walnuts And Christopher Moltisanti comes at its peak in the episode Pine Barrens! In the episode, Christopher and Paulie go visit the Russian man who was Valery who murdered 16 Czechoslovakians. After tying Valery up, they put him in the trunk of the car and go to Pine Barrens to dispose him. But to the shock of Christopher and Paulie, Valery was still alive so far. Valery walked in Pine Barrens followed by Christopher and Paulie with their guns pointed directly at him. To preserve his life, Valery walks slowly to delay when Christopher and Paulie fire their guns. Once both Paulie and Christopher fire their guns, Valery runs and takes off. Even when Valery receives a successful gunshot to the head by Paulie, he falls and then quickly gets back up and runs off. Though the reason that the headshot didn't blow off Valery's head is merely only because of the part of Valery's head that received the gunshot, the fact that Valery was able to get up and run off quickly was astonishing. During this scene, Christopher and Paulie are both in shock. Does Valery die in the woods at some point or if he survives, how does he spend the rest of his life before he dies?

Despite the fact that the peak of the craziness between Christopher and Paulie is over when Pine Barrens ends, they still have some funny scenes in the show! Especially in Season 4 Episode 10 during Christopher's intervention! Being extremely angry about the fact that the young made man in the crime family is sick with drug addiction, Paulie fearlessly walks to Christopher and tells him exactly how he feels about how Christopher has become! Being one of the top 3 toughest mobsters in the DiMeo crime family, Paulie could care less about Christopher's feelings and makes sure to have him in his place and successfully defend himself physically against Christopher and win while Christopher loses when Christopher physically lashes out!

Wrapping up with two more paragraphs, let's fast forward to Season 6A Episode 3 Mayhem. At the end of the first episode of Season 6A, the late Tony Soprano was shot by his late uncle Junior Soprano who was gravely sick with dementia. Being mortally wounded, the hospital had to put the late Tony Soprano in a coma in order to keep him alive. Because of the late Tony being in a coma, many members of the DiMeo crime family think that the late Tony is dying. Because of all of this, the late Silvio Dante became the temporary boss of the DiMeo crime family. But the late Silvio would come to discover that being boss of the DiMeo crime family is the worst job a mobster can have in the mafia family. As temporary boss, the late Silvio was responsible for everything that went on with the DiMeo crime family. Literally everything! The late Silvio is under immense 24 hour stress to the point that his ashtma attacks are triggered. Too many scenes of the late Silvio having his moments as miserable temporary boss of the DiMeo crime family were hilarious, this moment was the prime moment! 

The late Vito Spatafore, having lost hundreds of pounds and feeling healthier than ever, would like his share of money thinking that the late Tony is going to croak! However, doing the hard work in order to get their cut of money, Paulie has zero tolerance for Vito's attitude. In order to get their cut, Paulie put himself in mortal danger even receiving a kick to the groin in order to get their cut! As the late Silvio goes to the bathroom falsely assuming that he has finally escaped his misery, misery even comes to the bathroom as the late Vito and Paulie come to the bathroom arguing over who should receive the most money! As the Silvio is literally sitting in the bathroom stall, the late Vito and Paulie consult the late Silvio over this matter! Prioritizing Carmela Soprano since she may become a widow, the late Silvio only serves to make both the late Vito and Paulie miserable by telling them that they must give the money to Carmela